I saw this video this morning and I thought that I would share it with you all. It touched on a raw nerve, a memory that lays dormant until triggered, and well this video was an avalanche of emotions for me!!
As a kid I was the unpopular one at school, I was so unpopular that even the other unpopular kids didn't want to be seen playing with me!! I don't know if it was because of the patches sewn on my clothes, the cheap hair cut or the fact that I was kind to others, I don't really know and I never will know.. I was called names such a fatso even when I wasn't fat, I was teased about my large nose (It really is large), I was called Miss Piggy because along with my pig like nose my Mother made me wear a hideous light pink jumper very much resembling that of Miss Piggy.. I was never chosen for sport and when I was finally chosen for a team the members groaned and when I wasn't any good at sport the team made fun of me.. Funnily enough I don't ever remember a teacher telling them to stop..
I remember in grade 5, it was nearly Christmas.. I stole $20 out of my Mums purse (That was a huge amount of money back then) I took it and traded it for coins at the local store and then spent it on the 20c Skilltester games. I won a whole garbage bag full of toys and that day I gave each of my classmates a toy for Christmas in hope that somebody would like me, anybody but it didn't help I couldn't even buy friendship!! And then on the downside the school called my Mum and I was totally busted!!
Sadly I carried the rejection into my teens and into relationships and I ended up with guys who reminded me that I was stupid, I was ugly, I was fat and I was nothing without them..
So why am I writing about bullying in a blog that has to do with becoming a better me? Well because this time I am doing something for me. I am not losing weight to fulfill societies view of what beautiful is, I am losing weight because I want to live long and be all that I was made to be.. I am not losing weight to impress anyone I am losing weight to show myself that despite how I got here, despite how the negative words of the past turned me to comfort eat I am now happy to be healthy and my comfort is no longer in food as the words that were said to me no longer have such a strong hold... And lastly I am not losing weight because somebody said that I should, I am doing it to be a better me, a better Mum, a better Wife and a better Lami who will enjoy life and live it to the fullest!!
I want to encourage those who have been bullied to rise above it, to see the beauty that you are, to know that those words that were said to hurt you mean nothing and I know they hurt deep, oh how I know but trust me they are lies and you are a conqueror!! Sending love to you all from one victorious person to another xoxo